JUST BEING A MOM
By Debi Stagg

"So what do you do?"
"I'm a Mom."
"Do you work at home?"
"Yes, I'm a Mom."

I can't tell you how many times I've seen pity on someone's face when I answer that question. Yes, I'm a Mom. That's my job.

I wasn't always a Mom. I use to be a career woman. I use to live and breathe my job. I never turned down an assignment, overtime or butt kissing. I thrived on stress and blossomed under pressure. Then, one day I took the hardest test of my life and found out I was pregnant. And I cried. I cried for nine months over the loss of my freedom, my job and my paycheque. I cried because I was fat and my hair was falling out. I cried because I peed every 20 minutes and woke up at 2:00 a.m. to eat crackers. I never cried because I had a beautiful life growing inside me. I just cried because all I could think about was what I was losing.

On March 16, 1997, I became a Mom. A stay-at-home Mom. I had a beautiful baby boy, the first of two. It took the actual birth of my first son to finally see my new and exciting life. Then, I brought my son home and realized I needed some training. I did not know how to change, bath or even feed this wonderful child. In my old job, I went to school for two years. In this job, I got twenty minutes with a bored nurse. Why don't they teach a two year parenting course at SAIT? I never got a chance to start at the bottom and work my way up like my old job. Here, I was thrown in at the top and expected to run the show... It took me that first few hours, with my son, to realize this was the only career for me.

At my old job, I worked hard for someone else and never got any credit. At my old job, I kissed butt for a few more cents an hour. At my old job, I basically did the same thing over and over again. Now, I have the most challenging job on the planet!!! 'Mom' means so many things: I have to be a Gourmet Chef, an Antibacterial House Cleaner, Doctor, Teacher, Drill Sergeant and a Diplomatic Peacekeeper. I need to know several languages including Baby Talk and Whine. I need to be able to organize a day to the minute and make several people stick to it. I need to be an Artist, Singer, computer expert and a hero. I need to be faster than a speeding bullet and as soft and comfortable as a blanket. In my old job I sat at a desk for eight hours.

Sure, there are times I wonder if I made the right career move. Sometimes I resent this life and wonder what happened to the woman I use to be. Sometimes I even resent my children, but then something happens like my older son learning to 'connect-the-dots' or my baby finally gets that the round block goes in the round hole. That's when I know I made the right career move.

It doesn't take much to work for someone else, but it takes courage and commitment to give it all up to be a Stay-at-Home Mom. I will never feel that I made the wrong decision when I see my boys growing up to be loving, intelligent human beings. Not that I think that they would not be if I did go back to work. But maybe if society placed more emphasis on staying home with our young children, there would be a generation with more compassion, morals, and a better understanding of people.

So, yes, I do have a career. To quote Dr. Laura, "I am my kids' Mom." I do it with no paycheque, little recognition, and I get to kiss the cutest butts on earth. I love you, Donovan and Kyle.

Debi Stagg